Letting go of past hurt can be hugely challenging especially when the person who we love and adore whether it be a partner, family member or a friend hurts us. This could be because they said something or did something we did not like. It can be incredibly hard to think about what they did to betray you let alone forgive this person. However, if you try these steps, you may find letting go of our hurt a bit easier.
Understand your emotions
I think it’s key in a lot of situations in life to truly understand how you’re feeling, and I’ve said it before, how this can be quite hard. If you feel angry, I truly believe there are deeper emotions there besides anger. I see anger sometimes as an emotion which can cover up your true feelings, so try and dig deep. It could be for example this person made you angry by not doing something they said they would, but really, you feel let down. You feel angry in the moment, but deep down, this person has disappointed you.
I believe it’s good to let out your hurt feelings by doing something creative or doing physical activity such as exercise. Journaling your emotions down can also be helpful for you. However, try not to take this out on the other person as this can make the situation worse (I know how tempting this can be, but trust me nothing good comes from it!). You need to make sure you give yourself time to process your emotions.
Talk it through with the other person
I would say if you’re feeling hurt, give yourself time before you talk to the other person who directly made you angry or upset. When you’re feeling hurt, you will say just about anything to protect yourself which in turn can blow up the situation further and hurt the other person. Once you feel calm and truly understand your emotions, talk to the person and mention more about how you feel rather than saying ‘well you did this and this etc’.
If you’re honest about how you feel, the other person will be able to understand you better. Be completely 100% open with them about your feelings. In the step, you have to make sure you listen to that other person too, so that you can understand where they were coming from.
Forgiveness is a key step in this process. It takes a whole lot of energy to stay angry at someone and can have a real negative impact on you. Holding on to grudges can destroy you, but forgiveness can set you free. You won’t have to have a heavy heart and you won’t have to feel funny inside. Make sure you let this other person know you’ve forgiven them too as you never know, they are probably feeling awful for hurting you. They also need to be set free. However, just remember, forgiveness is for you and not them. Forgiveness is so powerful and will help you move on.
Give yourself some time
Just because you’ve forgiven someone, you may still need time to heal, so make sure you give yourself this. In this step, you may just want time to reflect on yourself or the situation. Perhaps you were not very happy about how you handled the situation, and that’s ok. Or you just want time to accept the situation and how it played out. It’s paramount to give yourself time to process what happened. Every experience we have in life, we learn and become stronger because of it
I hope this process was useful for you and I hope you can take your time in this..
How do you deal when somebody hurts you?
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